Get Uncomfortable - Part 2, and new year stuff
It’s several weeks past the new years. How are the new year resolutions holding up? If they are not holding up, then it’s a good time to introspect and see whether you need to change the strategy.
Given we are talking about resolutions, I wanted to remind you about being systems-oriented rather than goal-oriented. James Clear does an excellent job in his book Atomic Habits talking about these aspects. Here are some examples from him about goals vs. systems:
If you’re a coach, your goal might be to win a championship. Your system is the way you recruit players, manage your assistant coaches, and conduct practice.
If you’re an entrepreneur, your goal might be to build a million-dollar business. Your system is how you test product ideas, hire employees, and run marketing campaigns.
If you’re a musician, your goal might be to play a new piece. Your system is how often you practice, how you break down and tackle difficult measures, and your method for receiving feedback from your instructor.
The remarkable insight, which sounds obvious in retrospect, is that both the winners and losers had the same goal to begin with.
I wrote about the process that I used in 2021 at the beginning of 2022, while adopting a systems-approach here:
To begin with, I followed Seinfeld's "Don't break the chain" rule. Do it every single day, without fail. If you fall off, come back up immediately.
In order to not break the chain, I set up structures in place in the form of multiple reminders every day initially. I knew that relying on willpower was the easiest way to fail.
I also made sure that the tasks for the habits are not hard work. So I meditate only 10 minutes per day, instead of trying for 30 minutes and failing with frustration.
I know a lot of people set resolutions around learning something new or going to the gym. All of that is great, but I wanted to also mention an idea that could have a profound impact on your happiness and it is not too late to start this one.
No-complain Challenge
I came across this challenge in Dec 2021 when I was reading an excellent article called “Opt out of cynicism” by Dimitar Simeonov and it has stuck with me ever since:
One of the strongest medicines against cynical mindset which I’ve tried is to do a “no-complain challenge”. I find its effects to be enormous and durable for years. In this challenge, you move a bracelet from one wrist to the other when you catch yourself complaining. The goal is to make it 21 days without having move the wrist. I did it years ago, and by the end of it, it felt as if I am in a different universe. With the years, some of its effect has rubbed off, and I am due a refresher.
I was recently reading David McCullough’s Wright Brothers and it’s amazing how much hardship the brothers go through without a little bit of complain. It’s in stark contrast to how much we (at least my past self) complains when our flights get delayed.
I got some helpful feedback for my previous post. Many people were surprised to read what I said about getting uncomfortable for the sake of getting uncomfortable, and some even extrapolated to say that chopping off your arms leads to better living.
While I don’t quite understand the latter reasoning, perhaps I did fall short of conveying my ideas clearly. I want to clarify a few key ideas again and share a story.
All our lives, we seek comfort. Modern life is all about inventing ways of making our lives comfortable. Yet, being all too comfortable has its disadvantages. Every comfort you add can also be a crutch. Some of these add a dependency and make you fragile.
So my recommendation in the previous post was to be cognizant of this, first and foremost, and then get uncomfortable sometimes. Yes, voluntarily. Because I can go by a day without an iota of discomfort, starting from hot water, heated car seats and fresh food prepared for me.
I will leave you with this parting thought: Speaking of Lou Gehrig, the legendary baseball player, Ryan Holiday writes in Discipline is Destiny:
To Lou Gehrig, money was at best a tool, at worst a temptation. As the Yankees reigned over the game, the team was treated to an upgraded dugout, with padded seats replacing the old Spartan bench. Gehrig was spotted by the team's manager tearing off a section. "I get tired of sitting on cushions," he said of the posh life of an athlete in his prime. "Cushions in my car, cushions on the chairs at home-every place I got they have cushions."